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Sei Bella came out with new things on the Melaleuca site. I got there rose skincare collection. I really wanted to try it out. I really hope it does well on my skin.

What’s in the collection is…

Makeup removing balm to oil, a foam cleanser, toning mist, Bi-Phase recovery oil (supposed to help hydrate and soothe skin), Daily moisturizer, and overnight recovery cream.

They also have a makeup collection on there I’m thinking about getting. I might wait until next month though and get it for my birthday. I can’t believe next month I turn thirty-three.

I used Sei Bella’s eyeshadow and lipstick. I had to get a lipstick named Angel lol. It stayed on pretty well until I ate. I just didn’t reapply. So it stayed on for a good 5 hrs. Which isn’t bad for a cream lipstick.

I need to swatch and post pictures of the makeup. I want to swatch the pallets, lipstick, and lip gloss. My makeup looks okay in the picture, but I think the foundation could’ve been better. But I also put on two foundations because one was really shear and I wanted more coverage. So I just put another on top of it lol. You can really tell in natural light lol.

I went to my brother’s for his birthday. They had dinner and people over to wish him a happy birthday. We got him a director’s fishing chair along with a hat. Crystal told us he stood in the store looking at that chair for 10-15 minutes but didn’t get it. So she said to us that’s something he wanted.

It’s nice seeing family; it helps me mentally. I used to dread going to family gatherings, and now I don’t mind them. I’m doing so well mentally. I’m getting my depression under control, and it helps to lower my latuda. Latuda is the med that was messing me up, and I gained so much weight after it increased. I told my doctor that and he decided it was time I try something else. Hopefully, I can lose what I gained. I know my doctor is not going to be happy; I gained so much in a short period.

I’m slowly starting to get things for the Haunted Hunt this year. I ordered the balls needed to paint for the kids to hunt. I’m hoping I can save up enough money to get pumpkins for the kids to pick out. If I can, I’ll put pumpkin carving kits in their goodie bags. I think I’m also going to do a BBQ I kind of want to make it a few hour events. I really want to do that. I hope I can pull it off. I think I’m going to do a kitty ball, Frankenstein ball, a witch, and maybe an eyeball. I hope by the time Halloween comes around, we’re in a new house. We want to move by the end of summer.

Had an appointment with someone from the people who did my gastric sleeve. It was my one year visit and she wants me to see someone monthly to help me get back to where I need to be. I think I’ll take her up on that I really need to be kept in check with my weight and how I’m eating. I really liked that she understood the mental part of the eating habits for me. I mean I like everyone in that office I just felt she understood the emotional eating part better. I think I’m going to make an appointment in a month to see her again. I got to kick my butt into gear and do my workouts.

Monday was a holiday so we didn’t do our zoom class for ASL. We’re doing it today. This week we need to tell a children’s story from when we were young and I picked “The Three Billy Goats Named Gruff” by: Stephen Carpenter. I loved reading that book when I was a kid. There was that and Shel Silverstein that I really liked reading. I didn’t fully get into books until I was about fifteen. That’s when I started reading manga and fantasy books such as Harry Potter. Most of the books at that time were introduced to me by my aunt and what she was reading at the time. We have a great deal of similarities with books we enjoy. I really should get back into reading. I haven’t read a book since Christmas time and that was “The Hobbit”. I wanted to read just to read and not because I was being told to do so. I really should read “The Lord of The Rings” again because I want to and I’m not being told to lol. The link is to the first book in the lord of the rings series. Anyways back to why I was talking about a children’s book… we have to make a video telling the story to our class. Hopefully I can and the video isn’t to short.

I went to project Beauty Share yesterday and Julie gave me a thank you card and a gift card to Walmart for my work as a volunteer. I got so emotional. I wasn’t expecting that. I love volunteering there and I’m so happy when I do go there to volunteer. I’m going to put the gift card towards household products we need.

I’m more clear headed

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I’m trying to be better about what I need to do. But my depression hit so hard I forgot to do some work that was due, and I can’t do it late. There’s no making it up; I just got to try and do better and getting stuff done. I really couldn’t believe I missed that work. I thought I did it, but apparently, I didn’t. *sigh*

So I guess I’ll just talk about my thoughts this past week.

I’ve been getting very irritable, and I’ve been trying not to lash out at people. I find myself apologizing quite often. I hope to change my meds; I can get better. I think my anxiety has been so high, and that’s making me more irritable. I know my anxiety is about school work and not getting it done. I’m in a vicious cycle of feeling guilty of not doing it, then feeling anxious about it and then irritability cause I haven’t done it then getting depressed cause I didn’t do it. It just keeps going around and around. But I’m trying to do better and get this under control so I could do better with my school work.

I’m a sucker for makeup brushes. I don’t have very many face brushes as I do eye brushes. I don’t know how they wash or apply makeup yet, but if you want them, here’s where I got them.

Makeup brushes

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I always talk about DBT (dialectical Behavior Therapy) and how it’s helped me so much. It really helps with emotion regulation and expressing yourself in a positive way. I highly recommend doing DBT.

DBT Workbook

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I’m struggling to stay focused sense lowering my one med I’m being weaned off of. I just want to curl up and cry right now.

I’m doing a little better today emotionally. Hopefully, I can focus long enough to do my homework that’s due today. I got my ASL done, but I didn’t get math and communications done. I’m going to have to do it late. I just got a migraine and couldn’t focus after I did ASL. I struggled to finish my ASL assignments.

On a good note, we have hot water now, and the fossette in the kitchen works better now after dad changed the fossette, and he changed the pipes for that bathroom, so we have hot water now. We had to change it out because it was leaking into the wall. The last thing we want is for black mold to start.

During this lockdown, I’ve become one of those people shopping all the time online. At least I got bills paid first before shopping. But having a credit card does not help the urge to shop.

My dad and brother fixed the pipes leaking from the bathroom. We finally have hot water. I’ll never take a shower for granted again. We didn’t have hot water for a few weeks. My landlord had to have the money to fix it first, and they finally did. My dad changed out all the pipes from cast iron to copper. He also changed the faucet in the kitchen. The other one was really clogged, and we couldn’t unclog it. So we changed it out. We also had to change an element out of the water heater because it went out for not having water in it for an extended period.

For Mother’s day, we went over to my brothers for a BBQ. Here’s the picture we took for mom to put in the frame Kenny gave her. The frame was a nine picture frame, and the center doesn’t have a picture in it. Mom wanted it to be a picture of us three.

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I’m finally going back to Project Beauty Share! I’m so happy to finally be going back to help out there. Julie called me yesterday and asked me to come in and help with the mail and to also help with another thing. So instead of going in on Mondays, I’m going in on Tuesdays.

We checked the mail, and I got my last patch! The death’s head moth! Comment if you know what this is from!

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So I’m going to put my patches on a jean jacket that I’m going to dye black and orange. I think it’ll look so good. Dad suggested I do that and I really like the idea.

Since lowering my medication I’ve been able to think clearer. The day after lowering I just wanted to curl up and cry but the next day I was able to think and have motivation for my homework. I’m hoping I have the motivation to do workouts now. I’m thinking of doing beachbody online. I really need to workout and lose the weight I gained after increasing that medication. I’ve gained 40 lbs. in 2 months. That’s not normal. I know I haven’t been eating the greatest so I have to work on that too. I have an appointment with my weight loss doctor next week. I hope she’s not disappointed in me for gaining this weight. We’ll see what she says.

As I said I’ve had more motivation to do my homework. I think I’ll be able to finish my math work before the end of the quarter. I don’t have much left to do so I’m wanting to finish it now. I signed up for my next classes and I’m doing math 88 and a fitness class that will be one credit. I needed to use the one credit so I can stay on track with what I have planned out. I have an academic plan that the counselor put together for me. So long as I follow that plan I’ll graduate next year and be able to transfer to Spokane Falls Community College. They have the library technician program that I want to do. After I do all that I might go to school for pastry. I haven’t decided yet. I love to cook and I love books. Might as well study both areas lol.

In ASL we’re going to be telling children’s stories. She wants us to do a story from when we were little and I picked the story Three Billy Goats Named Gruff. I loved that story when I was little. The other books I really enjoyed was Dr. Seuss. But she said those would be too difficult to do. So I picked the other story I really liked. And in case we do it for another week or if I want to just record and post a video of me telling a kids story I ordered two others. One named The Grumpy Monkey and The Wonky Donkey. They looked really cute. I think it’d be fun to tell kids stories in sign. I want to build my vocabulary with ASL. So I need to keep practicing signing and watching people do it. I wont learn if I don’t try to watch people talk in sign. I know I still have so much to learn. Even though I’m not going into the interpreter program I still want to be able to talk to those who are deaf. I want to communicate with everyone. That’s also why I want to learn Spanish, French, and Japanese. I’ve considered other languages but I’ll start with these.

I got more makeup brushes lol.

I have an addiction to all things makeup lol. I need to do my makeup more often. I want to get more makeup but I have to pay my bills first. At least I’m being responsible lol.

I can’t believe how much more clear headed I am since lowering that medication. I’m not feeling irritable or emotional. I feel more in the present moment.

It’s been a slow week

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I’ve been doing okay, I still feel mentally sluggish. I’ve been trying to do things that make me feel better. I know I always feel better when I do my makeup. I’ve just been trying to find a balance with my mental health lately.

I said in my last post I was going to take pictures of the makeup I’ve gotten the past couple weeks. So here they are…

Mom got me these nail polishes from Sally Hansen. It’s their donut collection.

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Here are swatches of the nail polish… I didn’t have any nail swatch wheels, so I just did them on a piece of paper and put the name of the polish swatched next to them.

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Saturday’s makeup… I felt like doing my makeup to just feel good about myself. I really liked this makeup.

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Sunday’s makeup (mother’s day) I wanted to look good for pictures for Mother’s Day. Though I struggled with my contacts, so I just wore my glasses. I kept getting eyeliner on my contacts, which made it very difficult to see through them. So I took them out and cleaned them a couple times and messed up my makeup, so I said screw it and just put on my glasses.

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I got more patches for my jean jacket. I got to go to the post office and see if I have more in the P.O.Box. I love the lipstick with the bat wings. It feels like one of the most fitting for me, lol. I had one custom made that’s a Great Pyrenees, and it has my Angel babies’ name on it. I had to have one with Rocko and another with Angel. I wish I could’ve done one with his picture, but the dog bone with his name will be good enough for me. Just until I can get another that I love.

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I’ve bought a lot of makeup. Lately, I just haven’t posted it on here. Here are a couple pictures of some of the makeup I got, and I’ve been trying to use it. I’ve been trying to find that perfect foundation. It’s hard to find foundations that match because I’m so pale, and companies make their lightest an orange shade. I don’t feel like looking like an Oompa-Loompa. I wanted to buy white mixing mediums for foundations, and I can’t seem to find any. I already have Manic Panic’s white, but I thought more companies made them.

I know there’s more that I’ve gotten. I really just need to do a video of my makeup collection. It’s just hard in this small house. Since I have to move so much just to get into my dressers that have my makeup. Let me know if you’d want that and I’ll see what I can do. Or I can take pictures of some of what I have, though, that would be a lot of work lol.

So I got a couple eyeshadow pallets from Melaleuca. I can’t wait to use them and see their pigmentation. The top pallet is called East, and the bottom one is called West. They’re inspired by cities from the east coast and the west coast. I really want to try their other color cosmetics. I think I can do some pretty looks with them.

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I’m trying to do stuff more, so I don’t feel guilty about not doing it. I don’t know I’ve just been struggling mentally. So I’ve been trying to stay focused and do what I need to. It’s only been hard to keep the motivation. There’s so much I want to do, but I’ve lacked the motivation to do them.

I have to say I’ve missed going to project beauty share. I really want to go back and volunteer. I don’t feel like I’m doing what I need to do. I do have amazon smile, and when I buy something, a donation goes to them. At least I’m doing something even if it’s small.

So my week hasn’t been eventful. I’ve just been trying to stay ahead of my depression. My meds doctor is changing a med of mine because I gained so much weight after increasing it. So I’m weaning off that one and starting a new one. I worry about my depression getting bad while going off of it, but it’s worth it if my depression gets better after the other med is in me.