Shouldn’t be allowed a credit card lol

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I hope everyone is doing well. I’ve been mentally in a rut. I’ve tried writing on here many times and couldn’t think of what to write. The headaches don’t help.

Sunday was my dad’s birthday and we went to my brother’s for dinner and gave him his gifts which were just gift cards.

I got myself a birthday present a new camera. It’s a Canon EOS Rebel T6 1300D. I love it! I really wanted a new camera to take pictures with. It was on sale at Kohls. It was $800 originally and I got it for $400. I really shouldn’t have a credit card lol.

Here’s some pictures it’s taken…

Yes I know our house is a mess.

I want to take more photos. I’d really like to go to Manito Park and take pictures just to take. I’d also like to vlog with the camera. I really want to make video’s. I want to make memories for my family and that’s why I want to vlog. Even if I don’t upload it to YouTube I want to have those memories.

I want to learn to cross-stitch so I got some hoops and thread to practice. I figure I can cross-stitch on fabric squares and put it together on a quilt.

I already have fabric squares cut out that I can practice on. I also ordered what I need to make patches. I want to make my own so I don’t have to order them online. It adds up getting them. Also I’d be able to do what ever picture I want for a patch.

I went to Kohls and I ended up getting another jean jacket. It was originally $60 and I got it for $3.15. I was shocked that it was so cheap and my size. I’ll need to dye it along with my other one. So now I have 3 jean jackets. I’m planning on putting patches on all of them lol.

I stopped taking that new medication. I was having headaches every day that would turn into migraines. I also just felt like crying all the time. I couldn’t stand it so I stopped taking it and I’m going to talk to my doctor about trying something else. My school work suffered because of it. I’m doing just what I need to and that’s it. I was not doing it while taking that medication. I talked to one of my teachers and she told me to work on me and not to worry about school. I’m still going to do my tests in that class but that’s it. I’m trying so I don’t fail this quarter. I think I might just scrape by with my grades.

I got the patches on the back of my coat and buttons on the front and collar. Here’s what it looks like so far.

The cat is on both of the sleeves.

I still want to add more patches to it. I’m really liking how it’s turning out. It’s me and my personality on a jacket lol.

I’ve been hooked to watching Dr. Pol on Disney+. I like watching a show that’s not about drama and actually helps people understand the reality of having animals. What things could and do happen with animals. When I’m not watching movies I’m watching that. There’s 16 seasons and we’ve watched it once and we’re almost done watching it a second time lol.

I’ve been putting job applications in everywhere I can think of. I don’t think people want to hire someone who has almost no experience with working. I got approved for work study again. So, hopefully they allow me to stay at the library. I’m sure Karen will let me come back and work there. But I also need another job for bills here at home sense Brandon is leaving for New York this fall. Maybe I should apply at Zips and see if they’ll hire me.

I only have about a week left of school then 2 weeks off. I’ll start back up on July 1. I got math and P.E. to do for the summer. So far I’m passing my math class. I struggled with it due to my depression becoming intense and switching my medications. I had a lot of emotional issues due to the change in my medications. I stopped one and I feel better. My doctor is putting me on something else to try. I hope I don’t get severe migraines. I guess we’ll see what happens after I start them.

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We went to Walmart and got a few things that we needed. I still can’t believe that Julie did that for me. I hope one day I can repay them for their kindness.

I saw this patch and I had to have it for my jacket.

These are little buttons that I plan on putting on my jean jacket. I thought they’d look cute on the jacket. I need to dye the jacket still. I have some other buttons that I got for it and I can’t remember where I put them lol. I’ll look around for them tomorrow.

I found the other buttons I want to put on my jacket.

I got some fabric that I want to use for a blanket and one I want to put on a skirt. I was so excited when I saw the fabric with the ASL alphabet. That is going to be a nice lap blanket. The black lace is going towards a skirt. I’m going to cut the kitty one up and put it towards a quilt. The green is also for a skirt.

I got this septum ring recently and I really like it. It’s a little bat. I would’ve took a picture after getting it but I put it in my nose already and didn’t feel like taking a picture of my nose lol.

I’ve been dealing with a migraine for the past few days. I seem to wake up with it and it doesn’t go away. I don’t know if it’s because of the new meds or what. I just know it’s making it difficult to think and do stuff.

I’m thinking of doing YouTube video’s. Probably do makeup and lifestyle video’s. I doubt anyone outside of my family would watch but it’s a nice thought to have. I’d be happy with just 50 subscribers. I’m trying to think of things I can do that would make me happy. I enjoy watching makeup and lifestyle video’s so why not do my own. I considered doing vlogs but I don’t have enough of a life to do that lol. I think just doing video’s talking about life and what not would be good enough.

I guess I’ll continue to talk about random things. My birthday is this month. I’m going to be 33. I don’t know what to do for my birthday. I was thinking of maybe doing a BBQ but I’m not sure. I don’t know what I want for my birthday. I mean I have a list on amazon of birthday wants.

School started back up online

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I can’t believe that I spent most of the week, not writing. It feels so weird. I thoroughly enjoy writing, so it surprised me that I didn’t write for so long. So what have I been up to?

I’ve been learning to sew masks and hot pads lol. I baked a milk and honey bread that tasted amazing as french toast. We haven’t left the house except to get food from the store and check the post office. I was going to make mini lemon bundt cakes, but the lemons were bad, and we didn’t have enough money to buy some more.

School starts back up with classes being only offered online. I’ve been trying to get things taken care of for school. Making sure I get my books and getting things watched that need to be watched beforehand. I have to be in the zoom classroom on Monday for ASL. There’s supposed to be a deaf event done for it, but that might change due to how things are going with this virus. It should be interesting to learn ASL entirely online. Math seems more straight forward than my last math class. Communications is reasonably straight forward as well. I’ve been watching the intro videos that we can watch now and reading the material.

I’ve been just trying to keep my mind busy since I’ve been cooped up in the house. I’m trying not to slip into a depression and making sure I’m doing productive things. I’ve been trying to do something good for me mentally, even when I don’t feel like doing it.

We’re not really going to celebrate easter. Never really have celebrated it. But everyone in the baking community has been making carrot cakes for easter.

It’s easter. So I guess happy easter. Just going to make potato soup for dinner and possibly grilled cheese with the milk and honey bread I made. Going to finish creating the masks, then clean the kitchen along with doing the dishes. The kitchen is a complete mess, and I don’t like it, so I’m going to clean it.

I’ve been hooked to listening to music at night before I go to sleep. I forgot how much I enjoy hard rock. Been listening to Five Finger Death Punch, Korn, Disturbed, and Godsmack along with a few others. I haven’t listened to them for a long time, and I remember how much I enjoy those artists.

School just started, and I’m uncertain of how it’s going to go being entirely online. My teachers are doing their best to help up with figuring it out.

I did my first zoom class today, and that was for ASL. Trying to figure out how it all works, and it seems that’s going to be the only zoom I have during the week. I had to keep my mic muted since my dogs like to bark at any noise they hear. It took me a few to get mine figured out cause I didn’t realize I needed to click on my mic so I could listen to them.

I got what homework I could do for communications and with ASL. I watched what videos I needed to know what homework to do. I read through the modules and saw what I needed to for that week’s course work. I still need to work on math. I plan on doing that and my ASL video tomorrow. Apparently, we’re doing the vocab on our own to teach the rest of the class how to sign the words. We’re also going to sign a story about Mr. Potatohead lol.

I got what school work I could do for the day, and I also went and check the post office for my check. I put that in the bank then came home and paid bills go me.

It’ll be nice to change my focus on something other than boredom. I’ve been mentally going nuts, not leaving the house very much. I didn’t realize how much I try to keep myself busy, so I’m not stuck in my head. After going through DBT, I did what I needed to, so I didn’t dwell on things around me. I hate being stuck in my head most days. I guess I struggle with thinking about things that’ll make me unhappy. Overthinking is my biggest downfall for myself mentally. When I do that, I end up becoming increasingly depressed. It’s best to try not to focus on the bad and nonexistent, which people with BPD tend to do.

I’m planning on reading my communications book and try to get ahead in that class, well, as much as I can. There’s quite a bit of reading to do in that class. Oh, I should print out the study guides on the modules. Okay, I just tried to get into the module, and it is not open, yet so I have to wait until next week.

Brandon got excepted into a college over in New York. I’m not going with him. I have no desire to leave, and besides, I want to stay with my mom and help her when she needs it. I’m happy here, and I don’t want to leave. I’m happy for Brandon, and if he wants to go, it’s his choice, not mine. I don’t tell him what he can or can’t do with his life. I’m genuinely happy for him. He might be leaving at the end of August if he can get the money together to go for the fall quarter. If not, he’s going to leave for the spring quarter. He’ll be at that school for four years to get his masters with cooking. He wants to expand his knowledge and abilities with food. He feels this school will open up doorways for his future and to open the type of restaurant he wants.

So we got our stimulus check, which is going to go for bills. I need to pay down some credit cards. Paid on the phone bill.

I’ve been doing math even though I hate it, but at least I’m doing it. I’ll get through this class no matter what. I’ll do my group work and tests as soon as I can, and I’m going to get as much as the online stuff done as I can. I want to pass it even though I hate doing it. I’ll say there’s not as much required in this math class as my other math class. So it should be easy to get a passing grade.

Oh, I thought I would have more to talk about with starting school this week. Guess I was wrong, lol.

So, what to talk about?

I’m slowly getting things done that I need to for school. Right now, I’m turning in my test for ASL. Though the dogs started being noisy while I recorded my ASL video, thankfully, they didn’t full-blown start barking. I can only imagine what people would say if I yelled out in the middle of my video to get the dogs a damn carrot lol. I wish it didn’t take so long to upload the videos for ASL.

I feel like I’m not being very productive with not going to the school for classes or work-study. Though I found out today since we can’t go on campus to do our hours, we’re going to be awarded half of our money, and if they stay closed after may, then we’ll be awarded the other half. I missed when I used to take the bus there and sit in the bakery with Brandon and work on my next blog post. I probably could get up and do those sorts of things and then do my homework like I used to. Right now, I’m getting up in the morning and taking my sweet ass time to wake up before working on homework.

Everyone got stimulus checks from the government. We used ours to pay on some bills and put a little bit aside for more bills. It would be nice if they did the $2,000 a month for everyone since a lot of people can’t work right now. But I know that’s wishful thinking, but it would be helpful for bills. It was nice for the one time, so we could get some bills paid that needed to be paid.

I need to stop eating so much lol. Being stuck at home, I’m eating more than I should. I hope I haven’t gained too much weight. I need to do better at taking care of myself.

We’ve made masks for us to go out and about. We don’t have gloves to wear, though.

I’m getting what I need done for school for this week. I need to do the rest of my math and the last video for ASL. I want to get ahead for communications. I have a lot to read for it, and I need to write a long post for a discussion. I only have two more homework for math. The video I need to do for ASL needs to talk about potato head comic strip and do a story about it. I haven’t come up with my story yet, but I can get it written up tonight, and I’ll make the video tomorrow. I have to make sure I write it out in gloss and English. Gloss is when it’s written in ASL. Get done what I need to for the day and do my homework.

I hope everyone is doing well even though the virus is going around. I hope everyone is safe and healthy.