I can’t believe that I spent most of the week, not writing. It feels so weird. I thoroughly enjoy writing, so it surprised me that I didn’t write for so long. So what have I been up to?
I’ve been learning to sew masks and hot pads lol. I baked a milk and honey bread that tasted amazing as french toast. We haven’t left the house except to get food from the store and check the post office. I was going to make mini lemon bundt cakes, but the lemons were bad, and we didn’t have enough money to buy some more.
School starts back up with classes being only offered online. I’ve been trying to get things taken care of for school. Making sure I get my books and getting things watched that need to be watched beforehand. I have to be in the zoom classroom on Monday for ASL. There’s supposed to be a deaf event done for it, but that might change due to how things are going with this virus. It should be interesting to learn ASL entirely online. Math seems more straight forward than my last math class. Communications is reasonably straight forward as well. I’ve been watching the intro videos that we can watch now and reading the material.
I’ve been just trying to keep my mind busy since I’ve been cooped up in the house. I’m trying not to slip into a depression and making sure I’m doing productive things. I’ve been trying to do something good for me mentally, even when I don’t feel like doing it.
We’re not really going to celebrate easter. Never really have celebrated it. But everyone in the baking community has been making carrot cakes for easter.
It’s easter. So I guess happy easter. Just going to make potato soup for dinner and possibly grilled cheese with the milk and honey bread I made. Going to finish creating the masks, then clean the kitchen along with doing the dishes. The kitchen is a complete mess, and I don’t like it, so I’m going to clean it.
I’ve been hooked to listening to music at night before I go to sleep. I forgot how much I enjoy hard rock. Been listening to Five Finger Death Punch, Korn, Disturbed, and Godsmack along with a few others. I haven’t listened to them for a long time, and I remember how much I enjoy those artists.
School just started, and I’m uncertain of how it’s going to go being entirely online. My teachers are doing their best to help up with figuring it out.
I did my first zoom class today, and that was for ASL. Trying to figure out how it all works, and it seems that’s going to be the only zoom I have during the week. I had to keep my mic muted since my dogs like to bark at any noise they hear. It took me a few to get mine figured out cause I didn’t realize I needed to click on my mic so I could listen to them.
I got what homework I could do for communications and with ASL. I watched what videos I needed to know what homework to do. I read through the modules and saw what I needed to for that week’s course work. I still need to work on math. I plan on doing that and my ASL video tomorrow. Apparently, we’re doing the vocab on our own to teach the rest of the class how to sign the words. We’re also going to sign a story about Mr. Potatohead lol.
I got what school work I could do for the day, and I also went and check the post office for my check. I put that in the bank then came home and paid bills go me.
It’ll be nice to change my focus on something other than boredom. I’ve been mentally going nuts, not leaving the house very much. I didn’t realize how much I try to keep myself busy, so I’m not stuck in my head. After going through DBT, I did what I needed to, so I didn’t dwell on things around me. I hate being stuck in my head most days. I guess I struggle with thinking about things that’ll make me unhappy. Overthinking is my biggest downfall for myself mentally. When I do that, I end up becoming increasingly depressed. It’s best to try not to focus on the bad and nonexistent, which people with BPD tend to do.
I’m planning on reading my communications book and try to get ahead in that class, well, as much as I can. There’s quite a bit of reading to do in that class. Oh, I should print out the study guides on the modules. Okay, I just tried to get into the module, and it is not open, yet so I have to wait until next week.
Brandon got excepted into a college over in New York. I’m not going with him. I have no desire to leave, and besides, I want to stay with my mom and help her when she needs it. I’m happy here, and I don’t want to leave. I’m happy for Brandon, and if he wants to go, it’s his choice, not mine. I don’t tell him what he can or can’t do with his life. I’m genuinely happy for him. He might be leaving at the end of August if he can get the money together to go for the fall quarter. If not, he’s going to leave for the spring quarter. He’ll be at that school for four years to get his masters with cooking. He wants to expand his knowledge and abilities with food. He feels this school will open up doorways for his future and to open the type of restaurant he wants.
So we got our stimulus check, which is going to go for bills. I need to pay down some credit cards. Paid on the phone bill.
I’ve been doing math even though I hate it, but at least I’m doing it. I’ll get through this class no matter what. I’ll do my group work and tests as soon as I can, and I’m going to get as much as the online stuff done as I can. I want to pass it even though I hate doing it. I’ll say there’s not as much required in this math class as my other math class. So it should be easy to get a passing grade.
Oh, I thought I would have more to talk about with starting school this week. Guess I was wrong, lol.
So, what to talk about?
I’m slowly getting things done that I need to for school. Right now, I’m turning in my test for ASL. Though the dogs started being noisy while I recorded my ASL video, thankfully, they didn’t full-blown start barking. I can only imagine what people would say if I yelled out in the middle of my video to get the dogs a damn carrot lol. I wish it didn’t take so long to upload the videos for ASL.
I feel like I’m not being very productive with not going to the school for classes or work-study. Though I found out today since we can’t go on campus to do our hours, we’re going to be awarded half of our money, and if they stay closed after may, then we’ll be awarded the other half. I missed when I used to take the bus there and sit in the bakery with Brandon and work on my next blog post. I probably could get up and do those sorts of things and then do my homework like I used to. Right now, I’m getting up in the morning and taking my sweet ass time to wake up before working on homework.
Everyone got stimulus checks from the government. We used ours to pay on some bills and put a little bit aside for more bills. It would be nice if they did the $2,000 a month for everyone since a lot of people can’t work right now. But I know that’s wishful thinking, but it would be helpful for bills. It was nice for the one time, so we could get some bills paid that needed to be paid.
I need to stop eating so much lol. Being stuck at home, I’m eating more than I should. I hope I haven’t gained too much weight. I need to do better at taking care of myself.
We’ve made masks for us to go out and about. We don’t have gloves to wear, though.
I’m getting what I need done for school for this week. I need to do the rest of my math and the last video for ASL. I want to get ahead for communications. I have a lot to read for it, and I need to write a long post for a discussion. I only have two more homework for math. The video I need to do for ASL needs to talk about potato head comic strip and do a story about it. I haven’t come up with my story yet, but I can get it written up tonight, and I’ll make the video tomorrow. I have to make sure I write it out in gloss and English. Gloss is when it’s written in ASL. Get done what I need to for the day and do my homework.
I hope everyone is doing well even though the virus is going around. I hope everyone is safe and healthy.