It’s the start of another week. I guess I shouldn’t start each post like that lol. Anyways, how is everyone doing? I hope all is well on your side of the screen. If not, I’m open to listening to your thoughts and problems. I’m more than happy to be there for you when you need it.

I’m trying to figure out what to talk about in this post. I’m at a loss for words at the moment.

We didn’t do anything for Valentine’s day. We don’t celebrate it. I think the only holidays we celebrate are Halloween and Christmas. I don’t include anniversaries as holidays.

Speaking of anniversaries Brandon and my anniversary for how long we’ve been together is 9 years married for 6 this year. We’re planning on getting a cake from the students at the school and having lunch there for our 9th anniversary. It’s not a matter of price for doing the stuff there. We just want to support the students and help them with learning. We really like the programs taught at the school and wish to support them. I don’t know if I want to do a traditional cake or a cheesecake lol or even a mouse cake! I don’t know I’ll have to talk to Brandon and see what he wants. We got a couple months until our anniversary. It’s on April 25. Our wedding anniversary is on October 29. It’s hard to believe we’ve been together for that long. I’ll definitely post on here of what we do on April 25 and October 29.

I want to go to places and eat different foods. I wish we had to money to go to places and eat food so I can talk about it here lol. I just love food. Everyone says I should be in the culinary program with how much I love to cook.

Well, I woke up with a nasty cough. I don’t feel sick, but I’m coughing like I am. So, it’s time to take in a lot of vitamin c and garlic. Hopefully, it doesn’t turn into bronchitis. Whenever I’ve had a cough like this, that’s what it turns into.

So mom did the DNA thing too, but she did it on https://www.23andme.com/ along with https://www.ancestry.com/. She’s looked on there and found possible matches to her DNA. She might have found a cousin in the UK. She needs to reply to their last email but wants me to proofread it lol. I told her I would just give me what she wants me to help her with, and I can do it. Here’s her DNA from 23andme.

And here’s her results for her ancestry.

I have to say we have a great deal of Irish and English in our blood. I’m not sure about my dad’s side, but I’d think it would be the other half of mine. I have to say it makes me excited to possibly find some relatives that are from our blood since my mom’s parents were both adopted. Mom’s looking to get their original birth certificates so we can find out their original names and where they were born. Mom has also been talking to someone on here who could possibly be a cousin of ours. They live in the United Kingdom, and they’re the nicest people. It’s fascinating to perhaps find a relative somewhere else and find out our blood families back story. If Brandon didn’t have what is in his blood on his birth certificate, I’d have him do a test too lol.

Yesterday was a holiday, so there was no school or project beauty share. Since there was no mail, there was no need for me to go to project beauty share. I have a strong cough right now, and I’m hoping I can get it under control so I can go to project beauty share. Brandon is thinking about volunteering at a homeless shelter and serve them food or help prep the food. Hopefully, he hears something from them. It would be suitable for his resumes and for scholarships.

I’m still putting in job applications, so hopefully, I can get a job outside of work-study that can probably be an all year round. Brandon and I are talking of going to Ferarro’s for dinner sometime, and I’m going to put in a job application while we’re there. I haven’t heard from torrid again, so I don’t know if because I couldn’t go to the one interview, they’re not going to call me for the next group interview. I think it would’ve been fun to work there. I really like going in there. Everyone is so bubbly and happy. I love environments like that.

It was funny when I was at work on Friday Mariam came in and saw me. She told me she misses me during the day. I thought that was so sweet. She’s pregnant, and her bump is so cute. She’s having a baby boy, and her daughter said to name him Ryan, so they are lol. I think that’s awesome they let her pick the name. I have to say she’s the sweetest person I’ve met here.

I’m so nervous about my ASL test this week. I need to practice it since it’s a paragraph and not a sentence. I have to practice nod, dropping my hands. I just got to find out if we’re doing a certain one or if we’re cam chose between two. I’d like to do the one I want b, ut if I can’t, I’ll need to translate the other into ASL. Everyone here told me to talk to one of the librarians since she used to be an interpreter. We’ll see if I don’t speak to her I’m going to try and get in to see the tutor. I need to go to the math tutor sometime since my math teacher doesn’t really teach.

I felt like doing my makeup for the first time in forever. I forget how much I enjoy the process. I need to get back into taking care of myself again. So I tried a new foundation. We’ll see how I do through a school day though it’s still winter, so it should last no problem. It was weird doing my eyeliner with my contacts in, I’m not used to being able to see while I do my liner lol. I usually go by feel, and this time I could actually see what the hell I was doing lol. Need to practice with contacts in cause I had a hard time for being able to see you’d think it would be easier lol. On my next check, we’re going to go do our taxes. We’ve got to do that, and we need to get the dogs in obedience school. That’s going to be $60 per dog, so $120 total. They also need a grooming angel is looking a little rough lol. They also need their nails ground down. They’re a bit sharp. But yea, they’re going to learn to sit, wait, leave it, and a few other commands along with teaching them not to jump. That’s a big thing cause daisy full-blown jumped and knocked over mom onto the couch. So yeah, obedience class is necessary.

I’m sick with a viral infection that can possibly turn into bronchitis if it persists longer than 2 weeks, especially if I get a temp higher than 104. So, I’ve stayed home. I have meds to help me breathe because it’s making it difficult to breathe, walking from building to building. I came home early yesterday cause of my breathing. It kinda freaked me out. The coughing is intense, and it’s making my head hurt and throat swell up. I’m using cough drops like crazy, but it seems to be the only thing that helps to stop the coughing fits. I feel like shit, but I need to clean the house. I think I’m going to try and clean up a bit. I’m trying to get homework done since I’m stuck at home. I got my history for the week done. I’m hoping my temp goes down enough so I can go to class and do my test. I’ll probably be eating cough drops like candy, but at least they help the coughing fits. I don’t want to miss any more days. I’ve lost enough due to mental health and physical health.

So, I made me to school for my test lol. Sick as a dog, but I’m here. I don’t have a temperature, so they said I’m not contagious around people that only if I cough on someone.

While I was sick at home, I looked into trying to find our biological relatives. I found a nonprofit organization called W.A.R.M. they said they could help us, but it’ll cost money. They require another $600 for both grandparents. They want$50 to start just to see if they were born here in Washington. If they weren’t, it might cost more. Oh, and we’d have to sign a contract saying we won’t look ourselves and won’t post pictures or anything trying to find them we’d also have to turn in the DNA test results we did to them. I want to do it because they gave access to resources that the general public doesn’t. Mom said she’s going to talk to Selynda and Floyd to see what they want to do. We told them we want to talk to them and see what they want to do. I really think it’s a good idea.

Why is it when I don’t feel well, I don’t get much to say. Maybe it’s a mental fog. You’d think it has a lot to say since I’m not in school when I’m sick, and even when I did come, I still didn’t have much to say. 🤷‍♀️

So, Yesterday I almost had a panic attack. Shocking I know, I haven’t had one in so long it took me by surprise. I couldn’t think on what to do or how to react so I basically ran away. I needed to take my test, and I freaked out because I didn’t know we were taking the expressive test yesterday. I thought it was receptive. I was wrong, and I freaked out. I wrote the teacher apologizing and explained why I did what I did. She told me to make an appointment to take my test. I asked her when she’s available. I figured it was better to ask when she’s available instead of saying this is when I’m available. You make time. I’ll make time for her. I have to deal with the consequences of my running away. Even though I don’t feel ready for the test, I’m prepared to do it today. I don’t know if it was because I was around so many people, and that’s why I freaked or what. I don’t know; I just got to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

I got a job interview at Torrid on Tuesday. I’m happy! It’ll be an excellent job to have, and I know it’ll run along with the bus schedule. I just hope if I do get the job, they’ll work with my school schedule until summer.

I haven’t heard from my teacher, so I think I’m going to have to wait to do my test.

I can’t help but feel so disconnected from people at work. I don’t know. I want to feel more than I do, but I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t let my med increase get into my system enough yet. I just want to eat and shut myself in. I feel like I’m spiraling out of control emotionally. I don’t like this feeling. I haven’t felt this way in a long time, and I don’t like it. I wonder if I’m just taking on too much or if I need to change my meds or what. I’m at a loss of what to think or feel.

So, I’ve signed up for math 87 again since I’m having such a hard time with this class. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to take it over. I was told financial aid will pay for it one more time. I want to make sure I’m understanding the information before I get into higher math. I’m not getting that in this math class, but I do need to go meet with the tutors again. I’m signed up for ASL 123, basically ASL 3. I’m going to try and get my nerves under control, so I don’t have another freakout. I have to say that a panic attack scared me. I don’t want to have a seizure-like panic attack in class around everyone. I guess I’m just embarrassed to have them, and I don’t want anyone to see them who haven’t already. I haven’t signed up for my 3rd class, yet I’m going to talk to the counselor and see what I should sign up for since I can’t remember what my academic plan was. I have to follow that plan before I transfer to the falls for the rest of the librarian technician program. I told one of the librarians that I was going for that, and it surprised her lol. I want to keep working in a librarian setting. I really enjoy it. I’m going to keep an eye out for jobs for the libraries around here and see who’s hiring. I just want to learn more languages so I can communicate with those around me no matter their language.

Well, until my next post on Saturday, have a good day!