Shouldn’t be allowed a credit card lol

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I hope everyone is doing well. I’ve been mentally in a rut. I’ve tried writing on here many times and couldn’t think of what to write. The headaches don’t help.

Sunday was my dad’s birthday and we went to my brother’s for dinner and gave him his gifts which were just gift cards.

I got myself a birthday present a new camera. It’s a Canon EOS Rebel T6 1300D. I love it! I really wanted a new camera to take pictures with. It was on sale at Kohls. It was $800 originally and I got it for $400. I really shouldn’t have a credit card lol.

Here’s some pictures it’s taken…

Yes I know our house is a mess.

I want to take more photos. I’d really like to go to Manito Park and take pictures just to take. I’d also like to vlog with the camera. I really want to make video’s. I want to make memories for my family and that’s why I want to vlog. Even if I don’t upload it to YouTube I want to have those memories.

I want to learn to cross-stitch so I got some hoops and thread to practice. I figure I can cross-stitch on fabric squares and put it together on a quilt.

I already have fabric squares cut out that I can practice on. I also ordered what I need to make patches. I want to make my own so I don’t have to order them online. It adds up getting them. Also I’d be able to do what ever picture I want for a patch.

I went to Kohls and I ended up getting another jean jacket. It was originally $60 and I got it for $3.15. I was shocked that it was so cheap and my size. I’ll need to dye it along with my other one. So now I have 3 jean jackets. I’m planning on putting patches on all of them lol.

I stopped taking that new medication. I was having headaches every day that would turn into migraines. I also just felt like crying all the time. I couldn’t stand it so I stopped taking it and I’m going to talk to my doctor about trying something else. My school work suffered because of it. I’m doing just what I need to and that’s it. I was not doing it while taking that medication. I talked to one of my teachers and she told me to work on me and not to worry about school. I’m still going to do my tests in that class but that’s it. I’m trying so I don’t fail this quarter. I think I might just scrape by with my grades.

I got the patches on the back of my coat and buttons on the front and collar. Here’s what it looks like so far.

The cat is on both of the sleeves.

I still want to add more patches to it. I’m really liking how it’s turning out. It’s me and my personality on a jacket lol.

I’ve been hooked to watching Dr. Pol on Disney+. I like watching a show that’s not about drama and actually helps people understand the reality of having animals. What things could and do happen with animals. When I’m not watching movies I’m watching that. There’s 16 seasons and we’ve watched it once and we’re almost done watching it a second time lol.

I’ve been putting job applications in everywhere I can think of. I don’t think people want to hire someone who has almost no experience with working. I got approved for work study again. So, hopefully they allow me to stay at the library. I’m sure Karen will let me come back and work there. But I also need another job for bills here at home sense Brandon is leaving for New York this fall. Maybe I should apply at Zips and see if they’ll hire me.

I only have about a week left of school then 2 weeks off. I’ll start back up on July 1. I got math and P.E. to do for the summer. So far I’m passing my math class. I struggled with it due to my depression becoming intense and switching my medications. I had a lot of emotional issues due to the change in my medications. I stopped one and I feel better. My doctor is putting me on something else to try. I hope I don’t get severe migraines. I guess we’ll see what happens after I start them.

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We went to Walmart and got a few things that we needed. I still can’t believe that Julie did that for me. I hope one day I can repay them for their kindness.

I saw this patch and I had to have it for my jacket.

These are little buttons that I plan on putting on my jean jacket. I thought they’d look cute on the jacket. I need to dye the jacket still. I have some other buttons that I got for it and I can’t remember where I put them lol. I’ll look around for them tomorrow.

I found the other buttons I want to put on my jacket.

I got some fabric that I want to use for a blanket and one I want to put on a skirt. I was so excited when I saw the fabric with the ASL alphabet. That is going to be a nice lap blanket. The black lace is going towards a skirt. I’m going to cut the kitty one up and put it towards a quilt. The green is also for a skirt.

I got this septum ring recently and I really like it. It’s a little bat. I would’ve took a picture after getting it but I put it in my nose already and didn’t feel like taking a picture of my nose lol.

I’ve been dealing with a migraine for the past few days. I seem to wake up with it and it doesn’t go away. I don’t know if it’s because of the new meds or what. I just know it’s making it difficult to think and do stuff.

I’m thinking of doing YouTube video’s. Probably do makeup and lifestyle video’s. I doubt anyone outside of my family would watch but it’s a nice thought to have. I’d be happy with just 50 subscribers. I’m trying to think of things I can do that would make me happy. I enjoy watching makeup and lifestyle video’s so why not do my own. I considered doing vlogs but I don’t have enough of a life to do that lol. I think just doing video’s talking about life and what not would be good enough.

I guess I’ll continue to talk about random things. My birthday is this month. I’m going to be 33. I don’t know what to do for my birthday. I was thinking of maybe doing a BBQ but I’m not sure. I don’t know what I want for my birthday. I mean I have a list on amazon of birthday wants.

Black Lives Matter

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With everything happening with the protests I really started thinking about what I learned about civil rights and what the Jim Crowe Law was. I know this book is based during Martin Luther King Jr’s time but I feel it’s relevant to today and what’s happening.

Fall quarter I read the book the Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead. This book is based off of historical fiction. There was a reformatory school just like this. The book is set during the protests during dr. kings protests. It’s about a black boy named Elwood who wanted equality for all and to become an educated black man. I believe at 16 or 17 he was accepted and was enrolled in college. His bike chain broke on his way to school and decided to hitchhike to school. He was picked up by a black man in a nice care. The police pulled them over and arrested them saying they stole the car. His grandmother used his college money to get him a lawyer. He was ultimately sent to the Nickel Academy for troubled boys. There was the side for boys of color and one for the white boys. They were beaten sexually assaulted and treated like slaves. Elwood started keeping records of everything happening there to hopefully one day put a stop to the treatment. He had hoped one day to expose the owners of the so called school. When he told his friend about the records his friend told the white men who owned the school and Elwood was beaten and put in solitary confinement. His friend found out Elwood was to be killed and decided to help Elwood escape from there. I’m not going to say what happened in the end but I was really surprised when I found out what happened.

This book is historical fiction meaning the characters are fiction but the school in the book was based off truth. The school was located in Florida and closed in 2011. So not that long ago and the kids sent there were living in a nightmare. There’s video’s on YouTube from the survivors talking about the horrors of that school.

I really encourage you to read the book. It really portrays how black people have been treated and continue to be treated by some white people. White privilege is real and people don’t realize that. Just because it’s not happening to them and their friends they think it doesn’t happen at all.

People keep saying you shouldn’t say black lives matter it’s all lives that matter. Here’s my problem with saying all lives matter. You would go to a breast cancer conference and say no fuck all cancer not breast cancer. If you’re at that conference those around you would say we’re here to talk about breast cancer not all cancer’s. It makes you look like you don’t care about the problem at hand. When people say Black Lives Matter they’re talking about the problem at hand. They’re telling people what happens to them on a regular basis. They are wanting to educate those around them of what they live through. Their day to day lives. So if you’re like no it’s all lives your saying they don’t matter and that what’s happening to them shouldn’t be brought up.

I don’t know the pain a black person goes through. But I want to learn and support them. I was to be an ally and help where I can. I want to be educated on their struggles.

https://blacklivesmatter.com/

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Sei Bella came out with new things on the Melaleuca site. I got there rose skincare collection. I really wanted to try it out. I really hope it does well on my skin.

What’s in the collection is…

Makeup removing balm to oil, a foam cleanser, toning mist, Bi-Phase recovery oil (supposed to help hydrate and soothe skin), Daily moisturizer, and overnight recovery cream.

They also have a makeup collection on there I’m thinking about getting. I might wait until next month though and get it for my birthday. I can’t believe next month I turn thirty-three.

I used Sei Bella’s eyeshadow and lipstick. I had to get a lipstick named Angel lol. It stayed on pretty well until I ate. I just didn’t reapply. So it stayed on for a good 5 hrs. Which isn’t bad for a cream lipstick.

I need to swatch and post pictures of the makeup. I want to swatch the pallets, lipstick, and lip gloss. My makeup looks okay in the picture, but I think the foundation could’ve been better. But I also put on two foundations because one was really shear and I wanted more coverage. So I just put another on top of it lol. You can really tell in natural light lol.

I went to my brother’s for his birthday. They had dinner and people over to wish him a happy birthday. We got him a director’s fishing chair along with a hat. Crystal told us he stood in the store looking at that chair for 10-15 minutes but didn’t get it. So she said to us that’s something he wanted.

It’s nice seeing family; it helps me mentally. I used to dread going to family gatherings, and now I don’t mind them. I’m doing so well mentally. I’m getting my depression under control, and it helps to lower my latuda. Latuda is the med that was messing me up, and I gained so much weight after it increased. I told my doctor that and he decided it was time I try something else. Hopefully, I can lose what I gained. I know my doctor is not going to be happy; I gained so much in a short period.

I’m slowly starting to get things for the Haunted Hunt this year. I ordered the balls needed to paint for the kids to hunt. I’m hoping I can save up enough money to get pumpkins for the kids to pick out. If I can, I’ll put pumpkin carving kits in their goodie bags. I think I’m also going to do a BBQ I kind of want to make it a few hour events. I really want to do that. I hope I can pull it off. I think I’m going to do a kitty ball, Frankenstein ball, a witch, and maybe an eyeball. I hope by the time Halloween comes around, we’re in a new house. We want to move by the end of summer.

Had an appointment with someone from the people who did my gastric sleeve. It was my one year visit and she wants me to see someone monthly to help me get back to where I need to be. I think I’ll take her up on that I really need to be kept in check with my weight and how I’m eating. I really liked that she understood the mental part of the eating habits for me. I mean I like everyone in that office I just felt she understood the emotional eating part better. I think I’m going to make an appointment in a month to see her again. I got to kick my butt into gear and do my workouts.

Monday was a holiday so we didn’t do our zoom class for ASL. We’re doing it today. This week we need to tell a children’s story from when we were young and I picked “The Three Billy Goats Named Gruff” by: Stephen Carpenter. I loved reading that book when I was a kid. There was that and Shel Silverstein that I really liked reading. I didn’t fully get into books until I was about fifteen. That’s when I started reading manga and fantasy books such as Harry Potter. Most of the books at that time were introduced to me by my aunt and what she was reading at the time. We have a great deal of similarities with books we enjoy. I really should get back into reading. I haven’t read a book since Christmas time and that was “The Hobbit”. I wanted to read just to read and not because I was being told to do so. I really should read “The Lord of The Rings” again because I want to and I’m not being told to lol. The link is to the first book in the lord of the rings series. Anyways back to why I was talking about a children’s book… we have to make a video telling the story to our class. Hopefully I can and the video isn’t to short.

I went to project Beauty Share yesterday and Julie gave me a thank you card and a gift card to Walmart for my work as a volunteer. I got so emotional. I wasn’t expecting that. I love volunteering there and I’m so happy when I do go there to volunteer. I’m going to put the gift card towards household products we need.

I’m more clear headed

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I’m trying to be better about what I need to do. But my depression hit so hard I forgot to do some work that was due, and I can’t do it late. There’s no making it up; I just got to try and do better and getting stuff done. I really couldn’t believe I missed that work. I thought I did it, but apparently, I didn’t. *sigh*

So I guess I’ll just talk about my thoughts this past week.

I’ve been getting very irritable, and I’ve been trying not to lash out at people. I find myself apologizing quite often. I hope to change my meds; I can get better. I think my anxiety has been so high, and that’s making me more irritable. I know my anxiety is about school work and not getting it done. I’m in a vicious cycle of feeling guilty of not doing it, then feeling anxious about it and then irritability cause I haven’t done it then getting depressed cause I didn’t do it. It just keeps going around and around. But I’m trying to do better and get this under control so I could do better with my school work.

I’m a sucker for makeup brushes. I don’t have very many face brushes as I do eye brushes. I don’t know how they wash or apply makeup yet, but if you want them, here’s where I got them.

Makeup brushes

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I always talk about DBT (dialectical Behavior Therapy) and how it’s helped me so much. It really helps with emotion regulation and expressing yourself in a positive way. I highly recommend doing DBT.

DBT Workbook

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I’m struggling to stay focused sense lowering my one med I’m being weaned off of. I just want to curl up and cry right now.

I’m doing a little better today emotionally. Hopefully, I can focus long enough to do my homework that’s due today. I got my ASL done, but I didn’t get math and communications done. I’m going to have to do it late. I just got a migraine and couldn’t focus after I did ASL. I struggled to finish my ASL assignments.

On a good note, we have hot water now, and the fossette in the kitchen works better now after dad changed the fossette, and he changed the pipes for that bathroom, so we have hot water now. We had to change it out because it was leaking into the wall. The last thing we want is for black mold to start.

During this lockdown, I’ve become one of those people shopping all the time online. At least I got bills paid first before shopping. But having a credit card does not help the urge to shop.

My dad and brother fixed the pipes leaking from the bathroom. We finally have hot water. I’ll never take a shower for granted again. We didn’t have hot water for a few weeks. My landlord had to have the money to fix it first, and they finally did. My dad changed out all the pipes from cast iron to copper. He also changed the faucet in the kitchen. The other one was really clogged, and we couldn’t unclog it. So we changed it out. We also had to change an element out of the water heater because it went out for not having water in it for an extended period.

For Mother’s day, we went over to my brothers for a BBQ. Here’s the picture we took for mom to put in the frame Kenny gave her. The frame was a nine picture frame, and the center doesn’t have a picture in it. Mom wanted it to be a picture of us three.

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I’m finally going back to Project Beauty Share! I’m so happy to finally be going back to help out there. Julie called me yesterday and asked me to come in and help with the mail and to also help with another thing. So instead of going in on Mondays, I’m going in on Tuesdays.

We checked the mail, and I got my last patch! The death’s head moth! Comment if you know what this is from!

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So I’m going to put my patches on a jean jacket that I’m going to dye black and orange. I think it’ll look so good. Dad suggested I do that and I really like the idea.

Since lowering my medication I’ve been able to think clearer. The day after lowering I just wanted to curl up and cry but the next day I was able to think and have motivation for my homework. I’m hoping I have the motivation to do workouts now. I’m thinking of doing beachbody online. I really need to workout and lose the weight I gained after increasing that medication. I’ve gained 40 lbs. in 2 months. That’s not normal. I know I haven’t been eating the greatest so I have to work on that too. I have an appointment with my weight loss doctor next week. I hope she’s not disappointed in me for gaining this weight. We’ll see what she says.

As I said I’ve had more motivation to do my homework. I think I’ll be able to finish my math work before the end of the quarter. I don’t have much left to do so I’m wanting to finish it now. I signed up for my next classes and I’m doing math 88 and a fitness class that will be one credit. I needed to use the one credit so I can stay on track with what I have planned out. I have an academic plan that the counselor put together for me. So long as I follow that plan I’ll graduate next year and be able to transfer to Spokane Falls Community College. They have the library technician program that I want to do. After I do all that I might go to school for pastry. I haven’t decided yet. I love to cook and I love books. Might as well study both areas lol.

In ASL we’re going to be telling children’s stories. She wants us to do a story from when we were little and I picked the story Three Billy Goats Named Gruff. I loved that story when I was little. The other books I really enjoyed was Dr. Seuss. But she said those would be too difficult to do. So I picked the other story I really liked. And in case we do it for another week or if I want to just record and post a video of me telling a kids story I ordered two others. One named The Grumpy Monkey and The Wonky Donkey. They looked really cute. I think it’d be fun to tell kids stories in sign. I want to build my vocabulary with ASL. So I need to keep practicing signing and watching people do it. I wont learn if I don’t try to watch people talk in sign. I know I still have so much to learn. Even though I’m not going into the interpreter program I still want to be able to talk to those who are deaf. I want to communicate with everyone. That’s also why I want to learn Spanish, French, and Japanese. I’ve considered other languages but I’ll start with these.

I got more makeup brushes lol.

I have an addiction to all things makeup lol. I need to do my makeup more often. I want to get more makeup but I have to pay my bills first. At least I’m being responsible lol.

I can’t believe how much more clear headed I am since lowering that medication. I’m not feeling irritable or emotional. I feel more in the present moment.

It’s been a slow week

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I’ve been doing okay, I still feel mentally sluggish. I’ve been trying to do things that make me feel better. I know I always feel better when I do my makeup. I’ve just been trying to find a balance with my mental health lately.

I said in my last post I was going to take pictures of the makeup I’ve gotten the past couple weeks. So here they are…

Mom got me these nail polishes from Sally Hansen. It’s their donut collection.

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Here are swatches of the nail polish… I didn’t have any nail swatch wheels, so I just did them on a piece of paper and put the name of the polish swatched next to them.

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Saturday’s makeup… I felt like doing my makeup to just feel good about myself. I really liked this makeup.

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Sunday’s makeup (mother’s day) I wanted to look good for pictures for Mother’s Day. Though I struggled with my contacts, so I just wore my glasses. I kept getting eyeliner on my contacts, which made it very difficult to see through them. So I took them out and cleaned them a couple times and messed up my makeup, so I said screw it and just put on my glasses.

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I got more patches for my jean jacket. I got to go to the post office and see if I have more in the P.O.Box. I love the lipstick with the bat wings. It feels like one of the most fitting for me, lol. I had one custom made that’s a Great Pyrenees, and it has my Angel babies’ name on it. I had to have one with Rocko and another with Angel. I wish I could’ve done one with his picture, but the dog bone with his name will be good enough for me. Just until I can get another that I love.

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I’ve bought a lot of makeup. Lately, I just haven’t posted it on here. Here are a couple pictures of some of the makeup I got, and I’ve been trying to use it. I’ve been trying to find that perfect foundation. It’s hard to find foundations that match because I’m so pale, and companies make their lightest an orange shade. I don’t feel like looking like an Oompa-Loompa. I wanted to buy white mixing mediums for foundations, and I can’t seem to find any. I already have Manic Panic’s white, but I thought more companies made them.

I know there’s more that I’ve gotten. I really just need to do a video of my makeup collection. It’s just hard in this small house. Since I have to move so much just to get into my dressers that have my makeup. Let me know if you’d want that and I’ll see what I can do. Or I can take pictures of some of what I have, though, that would be a lot of work lol.

So I got a couple eyeshadow pallets from Melaleuca. I can’t wait to use them and see their pigmentation. The top pallet is called East, and the bottom one is called West. They’re inspired by cities from the east coast and the west coast. I really want to try their other color cosmetics. I think I can do some pretty looks with them.

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I’m trying to do stuff more, so I don’t feel guilty about not doing it. I don’t know I’ve just been struggling mentally. So I’ve been trying to stay focused and do what I need to. It’s only been hard to keep the motivation. There’s so much I want to do, but I’ve lacked the motivation to do them.

I have to say I’ve missed going to project beauty share. I really want to go back and volunteer. I don’t feel like I’m doing what I need to do. I do have amazon smile, and when I buy something, a donation goes to them. At least I’m doing something even if it’s small.

So my week hasn’t been eventful. I’ve just been trying to stay ahead of my depression. My meds doctor is changing a med of mine because I gained so much weight after increasing it. So I’m weaning off that one and starting a new one. I worry about my depression getting bad while going off of it, but it’s worth it if my depression gets better after the other med is in me.

Mentally sluggish

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This week… I’m struggling mentally… I’ve found I haven’t had much motivation this past week… I’ve even gotten behind on my homework… I’ve been trying to catch up… Mentally I feel sluggish. I haven’t written on here until today when I’m posting this… I think with staying in the house so much I’m just struggling to do stuff. I don’t know maybe I’m getting stir crazy being cooped up. I’m trying to be productive but finding it difficult to do stuff. I want to do more but finding I’m losing all motivation late afternoon. 

Cooking… I’ve been cooking regular meals but I haven’t baked much. I’ve gotten a lot of pans and cookie cutters. I want to make sugar cookies now lol. I got a bundt pan because I didn’t have a big one and it came with a cover for the cake after being made. I like that it came with a cover to store the cakes in.

Start juicing… I bought a juicer because I want to start juicing. I want to be able to detox and get healthy. 

Schoolwork… Like I said I’ve been behind on my school work. I’m trying to catch up so I don’t get too far behind in stuff. I enjoy the classes I’m in I just get hit with a wave of depression and my schoolwork suffers. In communications this past week we learned about religions around the world. I was assigned to Buddhism. I know a good deal about it because of DBT. The creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy is a Catholic-Buddhist. So during DBT we learn about meditation and controlling our thoughts. We learn about how our minds are what’s known as a monkey mind. Basically, we grasp at any and every thought that comes to mind. We hold onto that thought until we start mentally freaking out over nothing. I had to talk about what I found interesting that I didn’t know already. And I struggled with that. I ended up turning in the assignment late because I’ve been struggling mentally. I still need to go into the discussion and do replies to my classmates about the religions they were assigned. In ASL I did a story about 3 bats. Here’s the video if you know ASL.

This is the ASL gloss. Let me know if you want the English translation. But you can get the gist of it from the Gloss format.

3 bats one small name J-O-E one medium one name Edward one big one named Jacob 

Flowers little bat J-o-e search for find many N-E-C-T-A-R full  

Home he go-to-sleep.  

Medium bat E-d-w-a-r-d fly around find bugs. 

Find many big bugs eat many too full to fly tree he sleeps 

Big bat J-a-c-o-b search for fruit find mangos 

Smelled good ate much(too heavy) home he go-to-sleep  

If you want to see more videos of me signing let me know I can post more. I think I might do some story cubes and create stories and post videos of the stories. I think that’ll be fun to do. I need to practice my ASL more. If anyone wants to Zoom and do a story cubes game night let me know.

Makeup… I should take pictures of the makeup I got… and I should do my makeup lol… I got a great deal of makeup lately. I think I’m going to make a separate post about the makeup I got and if I can swatches. I don’t know I might make a video talking about it but that’s if I get the time and the house to be quiet for a few while I make the video.

The animals… The animals are doing good. Angel stood on her hind legs and put them on my shoulders. Her head was up to mine. So she’s 5’5″ long and still growing lol. They really need baths and their nails trimmed. They like to paw at us when they want something and the nails are very pointy. They’re not sharp like the cats but they are pointy and very apparent.

Crafts… I’ve been trying to do more crafts to help with my mental health. I thoroughly enjoy doing crafts. It really helps me mentally to do something creative.

Since learning to sew I’ve been getting cloth to sew more. I’m finding I’m enjoying the process of measuring cutting and then sewing things together. I got some cloth for a quilt. Moms going to show me how to make it.

I got patches for my jean jacket that I just bought. I’m going to dye the jacket black then I’m going to iron these on. I have more on the way I’ll post a picture once I get them and get them on the jacket. I’m excited to put them on. I know if they don’t stick I’m going to sew them on.

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Been so blah

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There’s not much going on in my mind. I seem to be unable to think of things to write about. I know with this quarantine I haven’t been able to do a whole lot, so I feel I’ve been kinda a couch potato and not living my life. I really should bake something to get my mind off of things. I have been doing my homework though, I don’t feel I’m doing a good job about it. I’ve been trying to do my work early, but somedays it’s hard when my depression hits and I don’t want to do anything. It’s taking me a whole day to do certain things. I’m trying, though, especially to my tests and videos that need to be posted for others to see. I don’t know I don’t feel I’m working effectively with my school work. I really enjoy my classes; I just don’t feel like I’m an adequate student. I really need to take charge of my studies. I’m trying to watch videos of people signing so I can get better at reading the signs. I think I’m going to rewatch the videos from ASL 1 and ASL 2. I think that’ll help me remember some of the signs for my discussion videos.

So I’ve gotten some of my math done I need to do my test and what I was assigned in my group that needs to be done by Monday. Which isn’t a problem; I can get it done. I still need to record my ASL video talking about Mr. Potatohead. Then get my panopto’s watched for communications. And sometime between all this, I need to clean the house.

I just woke up, and I feel like a zombie. Trying to drink my coffee to wake myself up. Waiting for my zoom class to start. Hopefully, I’m able to pay attention to my zoom class. I just keep zoning out.

I haven’t written on here for the past few days. I just haven’t been able to think outside of doing homework. I think being home all the time is getting to me. I’ve gained so much weight not being able to go to the gym and not having the room in the house to workout. I’m going to have to try and somehow workout.

I’ve been so blah that I haven’t written on here for a few days. I hope my depression isn’t coming back in full force. I don’t want to get behind in my homework. I’m even late on posting this.

Can’t seem to think

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It’s been a process getting back into the groove with classes. I’m trying to get a schedule down so I can get my work done on time. I had my second Zoom class session. I feel so out of it I don’t feel like I know ASL that well. I know I need to practice the vocab and practice signing. I need to take charge of my learning of ASL even though I can’t be in class physically.

I haven’t had time to think this week and write to relax. Homework is just needing to be done. I really need to set aside a time during the day to just write on here before homework. Having to do work online means you have to do more work than you would in an actual classroom setting. I’m trying to work on getting what I can do early. But it doesn’t help when things aren’t open until the next week, so I’m trying to get done what I can outside of that. I seem to wake up in the morning and spend half the morning just trying to wake up.

I’m trying to do what I can to get back into writing. I’m just struggling to try to figure out what to write about. I feel like I should be cooking and talking about what I made. But I’m struggling just cooking dinner most days.

So I went to Costco yesterday that was a chore. The line was ridiculous to get into the store. But It was kind of nice in the store because I wasn’t running into people left and right. I found a couple books that I think will be a perfect read. Here are the books…

and

I really like learning about history and Native Americans. I love to read cookbooks because it can tell me how to do a recipe in a way I didn’t think about. Also, I love learning new methods. I’ve already started reading the cookbook and marking recipes I want to try out.

Off of amazon, I ordered this book for my brother and his girls since he’s homeschooling them now.

I figured they’d have a great deal of fun doing the science experiments. I know the girls will have a blast learning about and watching them.

I’ve been slowly getting into doing my homework. I have a great deal due for the week, and I’m slowly getting it done.

Learning about what culture is and how everyone has it is interesting. In my writing assignment, I wrote about how I grew up with little money. That I’ve learned to always save what I can and use what we have already. So it’s interesting learning the different cultures people have.

I threw up yesterday, I don’t know if I had too much in my stomach, so my body just rejected it. But it was a couple hours after dinner, so I don’t know. I just hope it doesn’t happen again. I know I’ve been having heartburn lately. I’ve been taking antacids to try and keep it under control. I might switch my calcium meds to the chalky antacids so I can have my heartburn under control, and I’m getting my calcium. I’m doing what I can to eat slower than usual to see if that had something to do with it. I really hope I don’t have to switch my surgery to gastric bypass. If this keeps happening, they’ll have to do that. But I’m going to do what I can to get it under control.

I got a pan for $5, and it makes tiny square cakes. I really want to try it out. I found it at JoAnn’s on clearance. I went there to get some fabric to make a blanket. I found some adorable bee fabric that I want as a blanket. I got three blankets I want to make which one is going to be several different fabric sewed together to create an adorable quilt. I got the bee fabric, and I’m going to put a beautiful floral fabric on the back of it with a yellow edge. So the whole blanket is going to be black, grey, and yellow. The third blanket I’m going to make is a Slytherin from the Harry Potter blanket. That one is going to be black and green. I would really like some great Pyrenees fabric. I don’t know where to find it, though. I saw some people in the Great Pyrenees group had some for masks. I really should’ve asked where they got it, oh well. Maybe if I see them post it again, I’ll ask, or I’ll just google it lol.

I’m looking around to see if I can get Rocko’s picture on some fabric, and it seems like I can. I just have to wait until I get some extra money to get it.

So I found a piece of fabric with a rottweiler on it and ordered it for mom so she can put it on her quilt. She said she’s going to make it the center of the blanket. I found a place where I can get Rocko’s face on a piece on the fabric. It’ll cost about $15 to get it done. And since I want two different pictures, it’ll cost $30. I have my two favorite pictures of him, and it’s

I love these two pictures of him even though the normal color one is on the last day we had him. I miss him so much I can’t believe it’s officially been a year since we said goodbye to him. April 23, 2019, is when we said goodbye.

It’s Brandon and mines 9 year anniversary together. So, we’re sitting here watching people who are urban explorers. I’m going to have to look them up so I can still watch their videos after Brandon leaves for New York.

I’ve been looking at different patterns I can get for sewing. I was looking at costume patterns because some of the styles are perfect for goth looks. I really want to sew my own clothes so I can have the style I want. I rather spend the money on fabric and supplies so I can make a few pieces instead of spending $150 on one dress. Most goth clothes are $50-$150. It’s ridiculous how expensive it can be.

I’m thinking of doing daily posts instead of weekly posts. I’m not sure who reads my posts but I want to keep up with posting and doing it this way I’m able to recap my whole week in a day. But that also if I did it once a day it’ll keep me more determined to post every day even though I don’t write on it every day. I don’t know I’ll think about it. If your reading this tell me what you want.

Gratitude

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Sorry, I haven’t done my gratitude posts. Lately, I’ve just forgotten. Plain and simple, I forgot. I want to do posts on what I’m grateful for. So here’s this gratitude post.

  1.  Being healthy, so many people take it for granted, and given the time with the virus going around, people forget that being healthy and staying healthy is not a guarantee.
  2. School, starting school back up, made me realize how much I missed it lol. I didn’t know how much I wanted to be back in school. People can take getting an education for granted, but when it makes you happy, you realize how lucky you are to be in school.
  3. Learning to sew, I’ve wanted to learn to sew for so long, and mom taught me a long time ago, and I forgot how to do it. I’m glad I’ve learned to use a sewing machine again. I’ve made masks for family and friends. I’m going to make aprons and bags along with some hot pads. Then I’m going to make my first quilt. I’m getting all the spooky cloth together so I can make it. I also got coth to create a future baby blanket. I want to have kids, and I know one day I’ll have at least one.
  4. The stimulus check the government gave everyone, I know I have money for bills, but being able to pay a little extra on my bills is nice.
  5. Movies since they’ve been keeping me entertained when not doing school work and before school started.
  6. Knowing how to follow a recipe. Some people can get quite confused with recipes if they don’t know how to follow one. I’ve found reading through the recipe a couple times than working on making what it talks about helps so much.
  7. Cookbooks, I love being able to read on how to cook things. I love learning how to cook new things.
  8.  Knowing how to bake. Baking seems to bring me the most happiness. I love being able to learn to bake, then coming up with my own recipes.
  9. My best friend because she loves me for who I am. I love her for who she is, and I always will. I’m so happy to be a godmother to her kids. I love her little mini-me’s lol.
  10.  For all the people who have been working through this virus. Doctors, Nurses, janitors, food workers, Delivery people, CNA’s, grocery store workers, truck drivers, farmers, people who work at homeless shelters, those who work at essential businesses risking getting infected, and anyone who helps those who need it no matter what.